On December 3, 1998, I lost my job as manager of two storage facilities. It could not have happened at a worst time. I was very ill with a viral infection; too ill to do much of anything, much less pack a 2-story house and the shelving and attic of our 2-car garage. But that didn't matter.
Trials do not arrive at any specific time. They arrive when things are going well, when we're living our dreams, but come too, when we're down on our luck, ill, experiencing several things at once. When I lost my job I was also trying to cope with several other difficult areas in my life.
Because I was so ill, I was finding it difficult to be optimistic, to plan, to not become discouraged. One night, while alone, I'd taken my medicine and was sitting on the sofa, when all of a sudden the reality that I no longer had a job sunk in. Wave after wave of emotions washed over me: anger, fear, frustration, doubt, sadness, and a horrible sense of isolation. I'd never felt so much like throwing in the towel and saying "I quit! I can't take it any more."
I realized, sick as I was, that I was taking into my head nothing but negativeness; knew I needed help. I quickly turned to the Lord, said "Heavenly Father, I need you to tell me what to do. Quick as a wink, the words came: "Be still and know I am God." Usually, that would have calmed me. But this time it didn't, so I talked to the Lord again, said "Heavenly Father. I'm trying, but I cannot seem to get still. I'm so tired and so sick, so discouraged and disappointed. I cannot be still while my mind is so full of dark, negative things. Empty out, I pray, all that I took in, and grant me that promised peace of Christ." And He rocked my heart to peace again.
I came across what I'm sharing while going through the many Spiritual journals I have filled. Remembering how faithful He was - and always is, I just had to share this with all of you. I pray that wherever you are, and no matter what is going on in your life, you will always know the joy of His presence, and the warmth of His love- the tightness of His embrace.
Be Still ( Don't fret, remain fearful, anxious, or worried. Make God your focus point).
And Know (Be confident, don't open the door to doubt).
I Am God ( Believe I am who I say that I am/
In my next entry I will be sharing my latest trial, or the beginning of it. I say beginning for it is a trial that has been ongoing; one that has tested my faith as nothing else has. Please keep me in prayer. Ask God to keep me filled with His spirit, to keep me ever aware of His goodness and faithfulness, to help me remember how far He has walked with me.
Till than, keep Psalm 1:3 in mind.
"And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in
his seasons; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."`