Lord, help me, during this most difficult time, to not focus on my heart pain, but upon the thirty eight and a half wonderful years spent with my Johnny. Allow me not to forget your mercy- your goodness;how when he had cancer and prayed to make it to one more anniversary, you gave us eight more. We thought the Christmas of 2011 would be our last one together, but he is still here.
He bought me an early birthday gift in April, saying "I might not be here, baby, to get this for you." Now it is July, and though none of us wish to lose him we know that we are soon too. Lord it is so very hard.
Just for today, give me strength to tend to his needs cheerfully in spite of my weariness. Make my hands gentle upon his sore skin, my voice as loving and kind as yours is to me. Grant me courage and keep me clearheaded when he calls me during the night needing my help.
Just for today, let the memory walks I take lead me to the times spent alone with you, Lord, for those times were times of refreshing; they filled up that empty space within my heart, quenched my deep thirst, quieted me mind.
Just for today, let me take refuge in your promises. Let me experience again, the honor of your presence, the warmth of your love, the tightness of your embrace.
Thank you for the many "Shiny" moments you give me, those unexpected little things that lift my spirits: notes and emails from friends, phone calls telling me we're being prayed for, a good nights sleep, time alone to sit quietly and not think...just be, your Word...your LOVE.