Gracious Father,

I cannot start my day unless you walk beside me.
To start it alone always causes me to stumble,
 to fall back into the habits that brought so 
much heartache into my life.

Just for today, Lord, help me, I pray, 
to not take for granted my life,
 my family, or the wonderful friends
 who continue to pray for me.

Help me not take for granted:
the pillow that cradles my head 
after a long, tiring day;
the unexpected phone calls that lift my spirits,
the wonderful memories of my Johnny;
the love and support that my children give me;
this apartment, that though filled with so
 many sad memories,
also brings to mind the many wonderful 
memories, 
the "shiny" ones that I will never forget.
 
 Lord, strengthen me; fill my heart with
renewed courage, for life is so very hard sometimes.
Grant me a portion of your wisdom, so that I may better
discern right from wrong, and be more appreciative of
all that is good.

My eyes cannot see you, but my faith in your Word
acknowledges your existence.

Keep me ever near your side. Do not let the things of
the world take me from you, for there is no security,
no peace, no eternal life to be found in them.
Today, and every day, Lord, keep your truths before me.

Thank you for strengthening my faith;
for not letting me forget that 
this world is not my home;

Thank you for the restlessness of my heart
 that is a constant reminder of how eager 
I am to see you;

Thank you for the many ways you reveal
your love for me- for us all.
 Mostly, Gracious Father, I thank you 
for the gift of your Son.

Heavenly Father,

Create in me a new heart,
so that by walking as Jesus walked,
my character will become like His. 


Help me to be slow to speak, but quick to offer
understanding patience, and love. 
Keep my heart tender, always, I pray,
and grant me the ability to 
forgive those who have hurt me. 

Allow me not to rush through life blindly,
led by impulse, resentment or hurt feelings,
but slowly, never running ahead of you,
but walking beside you- 
matching my step with yours.

Touch my life, and the hearts of my loved ones,
so that we may be changed, may become kinder,
gentler to others; so that we may become the men
and women you created us to be.

I ask your blessing upon my life, my writings,
my relationships, and my spiritual life.
 
Fill in the hours, minutes and seconds
of this day with things that are best for me;
things that will make me a blessing to others. 
Direct my energies. Instruct my mind.

Grant me the honor of your presence
so that this day will not rob me of peace,
or discourage me because of its difficulties.

Grant me stillness within, so that I can rest
my eyes and  contemplate your goodness
 in the silence.
Be with me forever.
I love you Lord, with all my heart.

Gracious Father in heaven,

So often I get caught up in life, overwhelmed with the
darkness and evil and pain that exists in this world.
Sometimes it is hard to block it all out.

Remind me Lord, that not all is as it appears to be.
Behind all this darkness and evil, behind this pain and
sorrow in our world, a new day is coming-
 and soon.

Help me not waste the moments of my life,
 but to use them in uplifting and encouraging others. 
Help me remember the wisdom in
living just for today- the wisdom in remembering 
the meaning of my life on earth.
 Help me, I pray, to have clarity of vision,
 so that nothing in this world holds any attraction 
for me, so that my feet will not walk on crooked paths, 
nor my hands reach for unclean things.

Let me not walk through this world as though blind,
not seeing the homeless, hungry, friendless-
the hurting, sorrowful, desperate.
Touch my heart, O Lord. Make it more compassionate,
 more tender towards others. Let me not see their flaws 
of character yet remain blind to my own.

Just for today, grant me the necessary strength
and courage to do what must be done-
 without complaint or murmuring.
Help me do the necessary things with a grateful heart,
and not only because of today's blessings,
but for all that I have become,
and am still becoming,
through Jesus Christ.

Just for today, Lord, strengthen me; plant me firmly- 
more deeper into richer soil.
Silence those fears that sometimes appear out of nowhere.
I know that you are with me always, that you will never leave me alone.
I know that no matter how deep my pain, my sorrow,
my fears or insecurities,
if I place them all within your hands
I will be okay.

Thank you for loving me so much;
for being there first thing in the 
morning- the last thing at night.
Thank you for the SHINY moments you send,
 always when I need them the most.

Thank you for every person who prays for me,
who loves and supports me.
Bless each of them as you so graciously bless me.
 Let them experience, I pray,
 the honor of your presence, the warmth of your love,
and the tightness of your embrace.

Lord, life without my Johnny is so different,
so unfamiliar, often quite painful.
But even so, when difficult moments come,
 I turn to you
and am instantly comforted. 
You hold me close to your heart. 
Your words uplift and strengthen me. 
Your love fills the empty spaces. 
Your presence makes the long nights less lonely-
 and bright in spite of the dark.

Life is precious, exciting and wonderful
in spite of my trials.
Painful as they are, I'd not wish to be without them.
They have made me strong,
and given me such a mighty faith.
They have made me more compassionate, 
more patient, kind, and loving.

If I forget to tell you sometimes, Lord, 
please know how deeply I love you,
how much I appreciate every thing you do for me.
 Know too that of all I desire,
what I desire most is to 
see you face-to-face, to be with you forever. ,

Today, Lord,  I want to thank you for the gift of life, and for teaching
me how to see through your eyes rather than my own. I want to thank 
you for enabling me to see myself as I truly am, weaknesses and all.

Since losing my Johnny, Lord, life, for a time became the opposite of what
I'd always believed it to be; appeared to be a dark, cold, lonely place,
a friendless place.

It took me awhile to recognize all the lies grief causes us to grasp hold of, to recognize that in truth nothing had changed, at least 
nothing that mattered, which is that you are always wherever I am, always loving me, always near to uplift and comfort me, to strengthen and 
guide me.

Teach me, I pray, how to be thankful for my trials, to truly be thankful, 
for it is in thanksgiving that we are brought closer to you. Thanksgiving
helps us recognize what we too often miss- the fact that everything that happens in our life, even the trials...are gifts from you. A trial comes, and
our first instinct is to become afraid. We take hold of that fear, and when we do, every following moment is wretched- miserable. Thank you for helping 
me understand this.

I knew the definition of thanksgiving only, Lord, and that wasn't enough.
Thank you for opening my eyes- and my heart to all that is beautiful, for
helping me see the SON in the dark of night, in the depths of my misery,
for teaching me how to discover the hidden blessings, to appreciate the
sweetness- the richness in the simple things.

Thank you for that promised peace of Christ, and the joy that is slowly
finding its way back into my life.

Gracious Father,

Today I approach your throne with thanksgiving for
a full night's sleep; this morning's sunshine, the songbirds, the
emails wishing me a wonderful day and renewed health, and
for the sweet memory of Johnny's words "I love you, Barb.
Always will."

 I thank thee for the trials of my life, for painful as they were,
 and are, they reveal to me my strengths, as well as my 
weaknesses; they help me recognize in what areas I need to grow.

Today, I again place my hurts, worries, fears and concerns 
into your hands. I do this  because they  are
to heavy for me- and to painful; and because I know that You are
the God of impossible things; you (many times), created masterpieces
out of the ruins of my life.

You are my Rock, my strength, 
the Joy of my heart.
You are my Peace.

Please, Lord, bless this day:
Those facing trials to great for their power:
Those behind prison walls, without friends, family or hope:
Those struggling with addictions:
Those whose children are in trouble:
Those who are struggling to hold tight to their faith:
Those who have lost everything because of natural disasters:
Those suffering because of an unwillingness to forgive:
Those whose marriages are in trouble:
Those who, this very minute, are in the valley of decision,
not sure whether they wish to live-or die:
Those who are lost, afraid, lonely, hungry, sad and friendless.

Let me, I pray, never remain blind, or willingly close my eyes
to the needs and pleas of my sisters and brothers in the world.
Grant me the ability to Love as You love me, to focus on the 
good in others- to the best of my ability, rightly represent Christ.
It is in His name I pray. Amen.

Gracious Father,


Teach me to live just for today, to stay focused on what truly matters: family,
the hurts and needs of others, the need for understanding and compassion. Help me to keep both heart and mind open, so that I won't miss those things you want me to hear- to know.


Teach me to walk in your steps, not lagging behind- so I could get lost, nor
running ahead, for then I would meet with things I'm not prepared for. Help me remember that walking with You means doing as You did, desiring what You desired.

Teach me to always speak the truth, to never fear persecution, criticism, or any negative thing; to remember always that nothing comes into my life, or departs from it without first having your stamp of approval.


Help me remember the deepness of my sorrows, how acute their pain, so that I will be able to minister to others more gently, more kindly, and with more compassion and patience.


Teach me how to let go, Gracious Father, of all those things that prevent me
from becoming the woman you desire me to be. Help me remember all that you forgave me for, so that when others need my forgiveness I am quick to give it.

Thank you for helping me see my flaws of character, for helping me understand how each of them messed up (and is still messing up my life).

Thank you for encouraging me each day, for comforting me, wiping my tears when I cry, and holding me tight against your heart when I am overwhelmed with the trials in my life.


Sometimes, especially since Johnny's death, I feel quite lost and misplaced, 
but know that in truth I am not, for YOU are wherever I am.

Bless my family and friends this day, Lord. You know their situations, their heart pain. Please comfort them as you do me. May each of them know today, the honor of your presence, the warmth of your love, and the tightness of
Your embrace.