Lord, thank you for your faithfulness, your dependability and your amazing love. Midst this present storm, no matter how rough it gets, or how scary, I know that always you are where I am. Because I know that, Lord, I come to you  needing comfort, guidance and wisdom.
Just for today, Lord, hold me a little closer to your heart when the tears come, a little tighter- so that I will feel a bit safer, and not so intimidated about tomorrow, or even the next moment.

Just for today, guide my thoughts, my feet, and my hands so that self pity gets no welcome at all. Keep my thoughts upon the GOD of my heart and life, the ONE who has always loved me, protected me, comforted me, led me and  kept me moving forward, upon the ONE who has never let me down.For today, Lord, let my feet remain on the right path, and my hands doing for others. Do not let the heaviness of this sadness in my heart turn me into a bitter, cold, unfeeling person, but help me to embrace it, knowing that every trial has within it a miracle, a miracle that will help my faith grow, my compassion grow, my patience and understanding grow.


Help me, Lord, to remain in the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past or running ahead into the future. The past is behind me, and the future  yet to be. THIS moment, this present is full of unused opportunities, full of "SHINY" moments (blessing from you), not yet experienced.

Help me embrace each moment as it comes, whether filled with joy and laughter, or sorrow and despair, remembering always that wherever I am YOU are, so there is no need to be fearful.Help me, today especially, hold tightly to your many promises, never forgetting that you have never broken a promise- never will.
Thank you for loving me so much, for being so quick to comfort me, for always reminding me of your presence.


Bless my family and friends, especially those who have, like myself, just lost a loved one. May all of us daily experience the warmth of your love, the honor of your presence and the tightness of your embrace.

 I love you, Lord.

Remembering Your Love, Lord

Heavenly Father,

You know how ill my Johnny is, how fast the changes are coming now, how seeing them hurts me so much. Hold me close then, tightly, next to your heart, so that I can remain strong, so that when fear and discouragement wash over me I won't have to worry about falling- I will be safe within your  arms.

Thank you for your many blessings,Lord, especially for letting Johnny  be here for the past eight Anniversaries. Number thirty-nine is coming up, on Dec. 31. He wants only to make it for that one, says if he can be here for our 39th anniversary he will die a happy man.  I hope he is able to make it, but if not, my comfort will be knowing that he loves Jesus-loves you, and always thanks the Holy Spirit for helping him change.
  
Lord, just for today, help me count my blessings, to remember that no matter how difficult or painful things are, I am never alone; when alone, I am with you, and there is not a safer, nor more wonderful  place to be.

Help me remember the pristine beauty of your love, Lord, 
that it is universal, meaning everybody is included. There is not one person
on this planet who has to be alone, who has to go through  life being afraid, lonely, friendless, insecure. Your love is always reaching out towards them-
towards us all.

Help me remember, Lord that your love is personal; it focuses on each individual. My greatest comfort comes from knowing you know where I live, and observe my going in and out of our home. You know my thoughts, take note of every tear I cry, you wipe them as they fall. You sit with me when sadness makes it impossible to sleep, and are there first thing in the morning, to walk with me through the day, and the next one, and the ones after that.

 Help me remember that your love is pursuing- always seeking me, wanting to guide and protect me, wanting to be there for the wrong turns I take so you can set me back on the right path.

Help me remember, Gracious Father, that your love is changeless; your love is unconditional. You love me in spite of my faults, are always there to uplift and encourage me, rather than abandon me when I mess up.

Help me remember that your love is Selfless; you sacrificed your precious SON for my sake, for all our sakes.

Help me I pray, to remember that your love is empowering; that when You are Lord of my heart and life, nothing is impossible. I love you, Lord, with all my heart.

Lord, help me, during this most difficult time, to not focus  on my heart pain, but upon the thirty eight and a half wonderful years spent with my Johnny. Allow me not to forget your mercy- your goodness;how when he had cancer and prayed to make it to one more anniversary, you gave us eight more. We thought the Christmas of 2011 would be our last one together, but he is still here.
   He bought me an early birthday gift in April, saying "I might not be here, baby, to get this for you." Now it is July, and though none of us wish to lose him we know that we are soon too. Lord it is so very hard.

Just for today, give me strength to tend to his needs cheerfully in spite of my weariness. Make my hands gentle upon his sore skin, my voice as loving and kind as yours is to me. Grant me courage and keep me clearheaded when he calls me during the night needing my help.
 
Just for today, let the memory walks I take lead me to the times spent alone with you, Lord, for those times were times of refreshing; they filled up that empty space within my heart, quenched my deep thirst, quieted me mind.

Just for today, let me take refuge in your promises. Let me experience again, the honor of your presence, the warmth of your love, the tightness of your embrace.

Thank you for the many "Shiny" moments you give me, those unexpected little things that lift my spirits: notes and emails from friends, phone calls telling me we're being prayed for, a good nights sleep, time alone to sit quietly and not think...just be, your Word...your LOVE.

Sharing Song I Wrote in 1997

Most of you know that my youngest sister died a few days ago, which is why I decided to share this song I wrote with you. I got to thinking about loss; how difficult a thing it is to cope with whether it be the death of a loved one, loss of a job, our home, or something that in the eyes of others, doesn't seem too big a loss. Any loss puts a huge hole in our comfort zone and changes the way we once viewed the world, others, ourselves.
    I got to thinking about how so many of you are, like I am at this particular moment, grieving over the death of a loved one. It's tough, I know, but we will survive, will one day be back on track. But meanwhile, while our hearts our hurting so much I wanted to remind you (though I know most of you haven't forgotten), how great a GOD we have. It is because of His love, His faithfulness that I'm doing okay. I pray that reading this song will comfort you; will remind you that no matter how difficult the trial we are not experiencing it alone. Jesus is right where He promised to be...right beside us.


 Your Love Still Abides With Me

Lord, this day, the clouds all about me
are gray and darken the sun.
I'm trying so hard to be faithful,
but can't let go of the burdens, not one.
Thou hast said, Child, I'll never leave you,
I'm not man that I should lie."
Upon bended knee, Lord, hear me please,
Hear my last words lest I should die.

I thank thee O, God, for sweet Jesus,
For roses, children and the rain,
for the trials that test the man that I am,
they bring me me close to you again.
I'm thanking you now for these burdens,
Heavy Lord, as they may be.
Man's love comes and goes,
as everyone knows, but your love,
Lord abides with me.

Lord, the dark upon me is heavy,
It feels more than I can withstand.
I've tried my best to believe you,
but think them too much for a mere man.
Thou hast promised, "Child, "I'll not leave you.
"I'm not man that I should lie.'
Upon bended knee, Lord, hear me please,
Hear my last words, lest I should die.

I thank thee, O, God for sweet Jesus,
For roses, children, and the rain,
for the trials that test the man that I am,
they bring me close to you again.
I'm thanking you now for these burdens,
heavy as they may be.
Man's love comes and goes, as everyone knows,

but your love still abides with me.

TODAY'S GIFTS

Lord, I thank you for today's gifts:
The dew upon the grass at early dawn,

The  visiting of the crickets,
The sunrise and sunsets
The laughter of little children

The pillow for my weary head
The tightness of your embrace, as I cry.
The depth, the width, and the warmth of your love

that continues to hold me steady.

Thank you, Lord for the love reflected
in my Johnny's eyes, for his quiet strength,

and his amazing sense of humor that

unexpectedly causes laughter to echo
through our house.
These are hard days, even harder nights,
but you never fail me.
The more difficult the trial,

the quicker your response.

Thank you for helping me be brave,

for filling me with strength, and for helping

me find the right words to uplift my children

as we walk this path together.
You are my heart, Lord.
Without You, I would cease

to live and move and breathe..
Stay close to me, I pray. Let me not waste moments,

walking through life as though on rainy streets.
Help me focus on the SON so that though my trial is hard,

my heart is sunny.

Gratitude

Just for today, watch for the blessings. Even if you're going through difficult times, if you look hard enough, you'll find them.

I've been told, thankfully not for awhile, that I view the world and people through rose-colored glasses. I really don't! What I do, is look beyond what  my eyes see- to the
potential--to what will be after the trial has passed, after the person has changed, or come to understand himself/herself a little better.

To focus on the dark side of life: our sadness, fears, worries, concerns, etc, is a waste of time. It does nothing for for us except raise our blood-pressure, cause our stomachs to become nauseous, our insides to shake. Dwelling on the trial itself deepens our pain, makes our blue mood even bluer, our depression worse, often creates insomnia and a host of other uncomfortable ailments.

Sometimes, after reading what I've written, I can almost see in my mind, the expression on people's faces, as what I write often seems to make no sense, does perhaps appear too simplistic. After all, if we hurt- we HURT!
  "One can't simply turn OFF their pain, worries, or fears." a friend once told me. That is true. I guess what I'm trying to do ( obviously not very well), is to help people who are going though rough times to understand the value and wisdom in acceptance.

For instance:When my husband walked into the house not long ago and said, "honey, my doctor says he has done all he can do for me. The only thing left is to make me as pain free and comfortable as he can."
I resisted  that statement. Every fibre of my being resisted it. I hated it! Did not want to believe it was true- didn't want to hear any more. But my unwillingness to accept it did not change what was true. Bad news had just blown a huge hole into my comfort zone. That's what happened to you too, when life's trials found your house.
Both of us reacted..and strongly to what was making us hurt.

Better it is, Just For Today, to accept the trials with as much ease as we do the blessings. It's not the trial itself that makes acceptance easier, but the fact that GOD is right where He promised to be..with us.

Today, our comfort zone has been enlarged, way more than we'd like. Our living-room will,  in a few hours, contain my sweet husband's hospital bed. A nurse will be coming to explain about his meds. Then other people will file in and out of our home, each visit deepening our pain. I am, in a very short time going to be losing the love of my life. Though our life has seen many trials, our deep love for each other has always brought the sun back after the trial passed.

I am blessed beyond measure for having known this man, for having him choose me, in the awesome way he did. I'm blessed ...richly so, because only recently has he accepted the Lord.

Today, praise God for your loved ones. Give thanks for the things that have made you smile, laugh, and yes, cry too, for it's the moments of life as a whole that create the lasting memories; the ones that will see you through anything.

I want to thank those of you who have taken time to send me encouragement via email. Those unexpected cards and messages have lifted my spirits. They always seemed to come when I was feeling the worst. God's timing is perfect!

Life passes quickly, so create beautiful memories today.

JUST SHARING WITH YOU

LET MY LIGHT SHINE BRIGHT


Lord, let my light shine bright,
during my darkest night,
when my tears hide
your precious face.
May my faith be strong,
as I hold on, knowing
I'm covered
by your grace.

     Life may steal my dreams,
 break my heart in two,
lay my heart upon
the ground.
But I'll be alright
because I'm loved by you,
and will soon be
homeward bound.

Lord, as I walk through life
doing the best I can,
Hold me, I pray,
close to your heart.
May I be true to you
to my dying breath,
so we'll never have to part.

 I wrote this song just a few years ago, when I found out my husband had cancer. It is a wonder to me, the way the Lord uses words to comfort me sometimes. Now, as back then, we're told that my husband's illness is at its end, except that this time, the doctors tell us that all they can do is make him as comfortable as they can.

I praise the Lord for his goodness, for the many years Johnny and I have been together. Mostly though, I am, and ever will be,  eternally grateful that my precious Johnny asked the Lord to be ruler of his heart and life just recently.

God is good. God is faithful. God is merciful. God is kind. God is truly love.